Examples of Assertiveness

Many times we assume attitudes that do not generate any type of well – being . In general, these are modes of behavior in which our emotions reach dangerous extremes: submission or aggressiveness.

However, if we develop the capacity or social skill to deliver the right message, at the right time, we will achieve that emotional balance that we need so much in life.

In the following, we will approach this panorama from the concept of assertiveness, and some wonderful examples that can illustrate it.

What is assertiveness and what does it mean to be assertive? 

It is a form of communication, according to which a person is able to convey their ideas and suggestions clearly, honestly and concisely, without falling into passivity or aggressiveness.

In other words, the assertive person, although he does not repress himself when expressing what he thinks or feels, nor does he intend to impose himself through shouting or offenses; on the contrary, she tries to stay balanced and self-confident.

Let us now look at the following assertiveness examples that will better illustrate this definition.

These are the best 10 examples of assertiveness in a communication. Implement them!

The following list contains the clearest demonstrations of what it means to be assertive .

1. Examples of positive assertiveness

In a communication, sometimes we forget to let the other person know the positive aspects that they bring us; doing so would probably make the conversation more enjoyable and facilitate understanding between the two.

It’s not about flattering just for the sake of it; it is about highlighting  positive attitudes in the other, with the appropriate phrases, and at the appropriate time.

2. Effective communication and expression of one’s feelings 

The assertive person is able to express his ideas and feelings , without fear that this is considered an act of weakness ; on the contrary, he knows that it is one of the best forms of rapprochement.

3. Show respect for others 

When an individual is able to recognize others as his equals, as they are human beings, and shows respect by listening to their opinions, he is said to be assertive.

4. Implement active listening

This is one of the best characteristics of assertiveness; It is not only about focusing on the way of saying things, but also about listening to the other with attention.

The assertive person knows how to be silent, when the situation warrants it, so that the other can express himself, and thus attend to what he says.

5. Control your own emotions

As we affirmed at the beginning, the human being must be able to balance his emotions so that they do not exceed or dominate him, to the point of acting under mere impulses.

Through assertiveness, the individual neither represses nor overflows. That is, they are not afraid to communicate their feelings, but they try to do it at the right time, and with the right language .

6. Make eye contact

If we knew the importance of looking the person we are talking to in the eye, we would do so more often. Although in some cases it can be intimidating, generally, making eye contact is giving importance to the other.

It is a non-verbal way of communicating, with which we transmit security and closeness to the person with whom we are talking.

7. Use a moderate tone of voice

Being able to express your ideas in the right tone, that is, neither too low (with fear and insecurity ) nor too loud (with haughtiness and rudeness), is a very important aspect of communication.

The tone of voice with which we express ourselves says a lot about how we feel.

The assertive person has good self-esteem and self – confidence , so as to be heard clearly, without the need to yell or raise the tone.

8. Take care of your body posture

Body posture when communicating is also a sign of assertiveness.

The body language is based on the message that is capable of transmitting our body; which must be in accordance with the one we express verbally.

We cannot demonstrate the importance of our opinions, if we are not able to look straight ahead, with an upright pose, for example.

9. Knowledge of the topic to be discussed 

Before establishing any dialogue , it is necessary to know what you are talking about; no one can claim to have an opinion on something they do not know.

In this sense, being assertive is talking about what is known, without the need to invent about it, and recognizing how far such knowledge goes .

10. Know how to say NO when appropriate

This is one of the most important assertiveness examples on the list. And it is that, surely, we will all agree that it is not always so easy to say no when it corresponds. However, it is something that can be learned.

In assertive communication , both people are able to establish clear limits , expressing a sincere explanation of why they are.

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